When low self-esteem controls your life
Low self-esteem controlling your life?
After interviewing many women over the past decade, I have observed the common denominator holding midlife women back, or in fact any woman, from getting the love they want and living the life they love is a deep-seated unworthiness, low self-esteem and diminished confidence even if they haven’t fully become aware of this on a conscious level.
What’s troubling you about your confidence and self-esteem issues?
There are many reasons why mid-life women lose their confidence and self-esteem. All these unpleasant, but common life-changing events take their toll and plays out in so many areas of their lives.
- Still feeling blind-sided by an affair or a series of affairs?
- Struggling with judgment and criticism from others.
- Feeling disempowered by not being recognized for your skills?
- Feeling abandoned and devalued?
- Losing confidence as you are ageing?
- Frustrated with designers who don’t understand your body shape?
- In style rut and are feeling unattractive and undesirable?
- Feeling invisible?
Personal Change for Personal Power
Without change there is no change. It’s so true, and although we wish it was different, we each have to make that decision to take some action to stop feeling this way, but how does one do that when the learned way of doing things is no longer working for you, but you don’t really know where to start.
Your past need not be your future, your DNA, your history and growing up environment have shaped you to who you are today, or how you feel, but they don’t really matter if you want your future to be different. The attitudes and opinions of others have developed our belief system and usually we act routinely, repeating our adapted ways of doing things which is easier than to learn new ways.
Stop living in the past. Let it go.
As is commonly the case, the biggie of big saboteurs is ruminating over what has been and is no longer. It undermines almost all efforts for just living in the moment and having hopes and dreams of the future without fear and anxiety. This is key, and one of the hardest habits to let go. It is what it is. There are gifts in learning from past experiences, but drop the resentment and the victimhood and don’t bring that energy into your present.
When you are anxious and self-doubting, you will undoubtedly self-sabotage, but when you let go of the outcome, it will all flow. That sounds like a throwaway comment I know, and easier said than done but our lack of confidence that we will be able to survive without “that” particular outcome often undermines that very outcome.
Most important is accepting that things are different out there now, especially now in midlife. Getting rid of the chatter in your mind of being too old or whatever, and at the end of the day the energy about yourself will bring in more quality to your future that you deserve to live your best life.
Find your inner diva.
Work on your “self”, bring out your inner diva, your inner goddess. To be crystal clear, this is not about a heightened and grandiose sense of self-importance or self-obsession which can lead to manipulation, arrogance and extreme inability for taking responsibility and accountability for anything that happens to you.
This is also not all about you at the expense of others, but about changing the way you see yourself in a positive way that you perhaps have not embraced before.
Self-love with a “healthy” approach with a healthy self-esteem and self-image may be just what you need to make you happier, healthier and more successful in your personal and business relationships.
Your inner Diva in this context is about our confidence, a healthy self-esteem and self-belief, emotional strength and the ability to step up and take responsibility for your own happiness. List your core values and hold them close.
Confidence is our most valuable asset.
Confidence shows up in everything you do. And to increase your self-esteem, your confidence levels play a huge part. By making tiny changes to your day, rearranging the order you do things, or upping the ante of the activities you are already doing will lead you to recalibrate your life by identifying and nurturing your purpose and living your soul essence for a fulfilling life and love.
The first hour of the day sets the tone for everything that happens during the remainder of the day. When you change your mind set about how you start your day, it will change your whole attitude.
In order for everyone else to be happy around you is determined by your well-being. No longer young but not yet old, but your life is spiralling out of control and chaos rules supreme. It is life-changing when you can get hold of your own subconscious and come to identify what you want out of life. In reality we all should be doing this. Don’t wait until you are forced to, do it NOW! Do it for yourself. Power naps, eat well, laugh with friends, go out every day. It’s never too late to schedule self-care and it’s so important to laugh and create your current fun, whatever that is to you, and bring joy to your life.
As a woman now in my 60’s I know how hard it is to do on your own. Help is everywhere and you just need to make a decision to just take one step at a time, get a new look, learn a new skill, practice it every day and have fun with it, and then learn another skill, until it becomes automatic.
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Want to chat? I offer a free 15 minute Conversation Session to anyone who wants to explore overcoming any Midlife issue you may be experiencing and taking your life back.