Mid Life Doesn’t Come With A Pause Button
Many years ago I remember my mother telling me that time goes so quickly, life changes constantly, and we are all here for such a short time. Although at the time she was already in her late forties, she still felt the same as she did when she was a teenager and a younger woman. Of course, I thought I knew everything at that age, (yes, whatever!), so I just dismissed the notion.
It took me several years to understand what she was saying. When I really took a good long look at myself in the mirror, I saw a woman who was very familiar to me, but different to the girl I remember. My body shape and hair colour had changed, my clothes were different, but I still felt the same. Or so I thought.
But something had changed. Over the years I had worn so many hats I lost sight of my purpose, my essence and who I really was. What happened to that tall slim girl who used to play hockey at school, compete in Dressage events and was generally having one big active life in rural NSW?
What happened to my life?
Life happens to us all and as time passes, there are inevitably changes: in our bodies, our relationships, our finances, our identities and beliefs. Some are positive and ever-evolving, and sometimes it just sucks!
All around me there have been births, deaths and marriages, long lasting relationships- some starting, some ending, fun and laughter, and ultimately, there have been upheavals. Believe it or not, the upheavals are a wonderful invitation for personal growth. It also presents a choice of how we respond to it, and our beliefs from the past create our present.
Deep within each of us is a system from which we create meaning. It’s a constant part of our identity that is trying to keep us safe by creating meaning around events and experiences we encounter as we proceed through life. These meanings are born during childhood however, much of the meaning we create has been based on false conclusions interpreted when we were children.
I was no exception. I figured I already had sorted out a lot of crap long ago however, there were more surprises and disappointments, and one for me was accepting that there were still some things I just could not change. It was out of my hands, and always had been, and the only thing I could change was myself and how I responded. It was brought to me as a gift packaged as an adversity.
I was in charge of my own outcomes, and now I needed to take my life back, embrace it, be grateful for the gift, and love my life with creativity, courage and compassion.
Here are a few steps which may inspire you to overcome self-limiting beliefs, rediscover your beauty and brilliance, create the intimate relationship connections you crave and feel sexy at any age.
- Give yourself permission to move from being a young woman to mature-womanhood with acceptance and grace while retaining your dignity, vitality and “sexy”.
- Visualise how you want to “become”. If you can see it, you can achieve it and bring it into your reality.
- Make yourself “Bullet Proof”. You can’t stop people from rejecting you but you can stop rejection getting in.
- Recognise that there will be some people who will resist your changes. Stay grounded and focused on “Becoming You”.
- Remove all the negative beliefs before you install new ones. The mind cannot hold conflicting beliefs at the same time.
- Know you are Enough! All the love you need comes from within.
- 80% is good enough without being driven crazy with meeting self-imposed expectations that may not even be congruent with your authentic personality.
- Never give up. The only difference between the little shots and the big shots is the big shots kept shooting.
- Reward yourself with each step you take knowing that you are worth it.
You may have some trouble with some of these steps, and if you do, take one step at a time or select one that is most appropriate for you at this time. You will be taking giant steps in the right direction to creating and loving your life beyond 50.
For more tips to help you launch into your Fabulous Second Fifty, be sure to download my Freeby. You can access it from the top of the page. Warmest wishes, Trish.